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I Wanna Know What Love IS
"I Want To Know What Love Is"
I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when I'm older
Chris Ramsey stepped into the Recovery Room wondering
what all the fuss was about as most of Port Charles citizens had opted to gather
in the park on this warm spring afternoon. While he’d been curious to find
out what the fuss was about earlier in the morning, after a long talk with a
rather irritated patient, the last thing Chris wanted was to get wrapped up
in the happenings of those people who hated him the most. He’d had enough
of them to last him a lifetime.
“To hell with them,” Chris grumbled as he looked around the empty
restaurant. Feeling an eerie sense of déjà vu sweeping over him,
Chris gazed towards the bar, “hello. Hey, is anyone here?” he questioned
being met by a long, thick silence as a shrug rumbled over his tense shoulders,
“oh well clearly Mary and Victor are out joining the other morons out there.”
Deciding that he’d made his way around this place once or twice before,
Chris decided his hunger had dissipated and he would much rather a good martini.
God, this was all feeling far too familiar to him as he circled around the bar
thinking back to the last time he’d been in this position alone at the
Recovery Room. Letting out a sigh, he thought back to that moment in time when
drowning himself in martinis was the miracle cure for the pain of losing Eve,
but unfortunately his supply had run short and he’d been lead to this place…and
to Doree, he half groaned. As if his life hadn’t been a headache enough,
she’d come into his life wanting him, craving him in ways a woman hadn’t
even attempted to savor him in years.
Sure the sex with Doree was nice for a while, but that never had been his intention
when he’d walked into this place on his own. He’d wanted to lose himself,
to forget just how horrible it was living a lie while the only woman who saw
him, who truly reached out to him was gone. She’d been the only thing that
had mattered in his life and in losing her, he’d lost a great big part
of himself. Eve was his deepest desire, his dream woman, his best friend in
the whole wide world, but now, well now she was gone and there was nothing he
could do to change that as she’d been taken to a better place. Somehow
she’d left him behind and the one love he was certain could’ve saved
his soul was lost forever.
“Oh Lambert, if only you’d known how much you meant to me,” he
sighed looking underneath the bar for the things he’d needed when suddenly
he noticed a candle on the top shelf. Eyeing it closely he thought to himself
that it hadn’t been there moments earlier as a flashback rushed through
his mind. Thinking back to Ricky Garza’s words of Casey, Chris was reminded
of why he’d lit the candle in the first place. He’d done it hoping
that somehow, someway Eve would return to be with him, to share a drink with
him, but instead he’d found himself the object of desire by a blonde police
officer who’s main hobby was to frisk him every chance she’d gotten.
Shaking the thought of going down that road again, Chris pushed the candle aside
searching for the various elements needed for his killer martinis.
“Here we go,” Chris announced proudly pulling the jar of olives out
from under the bar, “and brand new. It can’t get any better than that,
now can it,” Chris beamed as he started to open the jaw only to discover
he now had the candle in his hands. Frowning slightly he shook his head wondering
if his mind had been playing tricks on him because he was certain he’d
had that olive jar just seconds earlier.
“How did you get up here,” he questioned releasing the candle as he
knelt down again to retrieve the olive jar.
“Hello, is anyone in here,” a voice interrupted as Chris stood up
to find Lucy and Ian standing before him. A scowl formed on Chris’ features
as he watched the duo arm in arm.
“No one you’re looking for,” Chris grumbled as he stood upright
once more.
“Ramsey,” Ian nodded politely as his jaw lined with tension, “what
are you doing here?”
“I was in the mood to grab a bite to eat, but now that this place seems
to be overcrowded, I think I’ve changed my mind,” Chris offered up
with a glare reaching for his jacket that he’d draped over the counter
top in an attempt to dive into what was behind the bar.
“Well in that case good riddens to you,” Lucy piped in waving her
hand at him, “don’t let us keep you here.”
“You couldn’t keep me here even if you offered me all the fame and
fortune in the world,” Chris snapped back at her shaking his head in disgust,
“you two repulse me. Do you know that?”
“We repulse you,” Ian repeated with mild amusement, “Ramsey,
are you drunk again?”
“I don’t have to be drunk to see what you two are up to,” Chris
shook his head disapprovingly, “tell me something Ian. How long did you
wait after Eve died to shack up with her? A month, a week or hell were you banging
her before Eve’s body was cold? You know all this proves is you didn‘t
deserve Eve to begin with you lousy piece of…”
“You son of a bitch,” Ian threw his fist out at Chris striking him
square across the jaw as Chris fell backward onto the floor, “you have
no right to talk that way.”
Chris brought his fingers up to his now split lip and he let out a wicked laugh,
“Truth hurts, doesn’t it? But then again between you and Lucy you
wouldn’t know the truth if it bit you in the butt.”
“You’re one to talk on morals Chris,” Lucy hissed at him, “You
are the last person to be passing judgment on us.”
“Eve was my best friend damn it,” Chris snapped furiously, “and
she never would’ve approved of this. I never saw what it was she thought
she had in you Thornhart, but if you ever loved her at all, then you wouldn’t
have done this. Eve’s heart would be breaking in two if she saw that you’d
replaced her with Lucy Coe.”
“Eve would see what a fine woman Lucy is and what I do with my life is
none of your concern,” Ian added with a frown, “go home and sober
up Chris. Maybe when you shake this off you’ll realize what an ass you’re
being.”
“I’m the ass?” Chris laughed wildly, “oh no, see here’s
where I think you’re wrong. You see if I’d been the one Eve married,
then she’d still be alive and I never, ever would’ve cheated on her
for something as cheap and tacky as, well as her,” he motioned towards
Lucy as Ian lunged forward again stopped only by Lucy as she placed her arm
around his strong chest.
“He’s not worth it, Ian,” Lucy offered up, “he’s never
been worth it.”
“You’re right,” Ian agreed trying to shake off his anger, “he’s
just a lonely, pathetic man who would rather blame the world for the mess his
life had become,” Ian paused momentarily, “you know why Eve didn’t
marry you, Chris? She didn’t want to be with you because she didn’t
love you. She loved me and I’m the one she was bound to for eternity. I’m
her soul mate and even in death you can’t take that away from us.”
“Her real soul mate would’ve known enough not to remarry Lucy Coe,”
Chris shook his head, “but then again I didn’t expect anything more
from a man like you. You never appreciated or respected Eve for what she was.
You tried to change her, to make her into something she’s not and that
was your biggest mistake. A woman like Eve was meant to soar, not to be caged
up, but at least wherever she is now, she’s free of you.”
“Ramsey,” Ian began again as Lucy reached out to him shaking her head
once more, “go home before this gets ugly.”
“Gets ugly?” Chris repeated, “it’s already past that point,
but don’t worry I’m on my way out,” Chris stood taller passing
by them, “I don’t think I can stomach another minute of you two losers.
I’m out of here,” he huffed leaving the newlyweds behind as he vowed
to lose himself in more important things.
Now this mountain I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
I through the clouds I see love shine
It keeps me warm as life grows colder
Chris entered his apartment tossing his jacket aside
as the darkness of the room filled his heart. Thinking about the exchange between
him and Ian, his anger boiled all over again. Knowing that he wasn’t going
to change the way thing are, he reached for the light switch attempting to forget
the stinging of his lip as martinis were calling to him. Turning on the light,
Chris stepped forward nearly tripping on something beneath his foot as he looked
down to see a candle on the floor much like the one back at the Recovery Room.
“What the…” he bent down to pick it up wondering if perhaps this
had been something Doree had left behind months ago, but as he inspected the
rose colored candle, something more seemed to be made of it, something different
as it had a jeweled covering. Perhaps he’d really had too much time on
his own if he’d had to ponder the availability of candles.
“What you need is a good martini,” he informed himself crossing the
room as the lights went out, “what in the world,” Chris grumbled making
his way back over to the light switch realizing that despite his efforts it
wasn’t working.
“Just great,” he groaned squeezing the candle in his hand before finally
letting out a sigh, “well maybe you’ll be good for something,”
he spoke to the candle, “Doree isn’t around, so I think we’re
safe for tonight--just you, me and Mr. Martini,” Chris explained crossing
the room through the darkness as he made his way towards the bar to retrieve
some matches he’d kept handy, “of course who knows? Maybe this time
we’ll get it right and in lighting you, maybe my martini buddy will return
to me instead of you bringing me someone like Doree. Think we can give that
a try?”
Setting the candle up on the top of the bar, Chris struck a match against the
package watching the spark build into a flame as he carried the tiny glow over
to the candle’s eagerly waiting wick. Slowly he placed the match to the
top of the candle feeling the glow build as the sweet smell of jasmine filled
the room surrounding him with a warmth that had been obsolete moments earlier.
“Hmm…I guess you‘re not going to bring me a martini buddy, huh,”
Chris inhaled a breath of the candles fumes finding himself a bit more at ease
as he began to mix up a pitcher of martinis enjoying this moment of silence.
As he finished with the martinis, he knelt behind the bar reaching for a couple
of glasses despite the fact he’d been drinking alone. Ever since Eve’s
death, when he’d basked in a martini, her memory was always with him, always
there even if she wasn’t.
Grabbing her glass from behind the bar, Chris rose again reaching for the pitcher
he’d just poured. Filling both glasses and dropping the olives inside of
the glass, he closed his eyes saying a tiny prayer to the woman who’d left
his life so suddenly as he raised his glass towards his lips for a drink.
“Don’t you even think about taking a sip of that without me,”
her voice cut through the darkness as Chris gasped in surprise at the vision
before him. She smiled gently as she crossed the room, “because I’m
telling you now if you even think about having happy hour before I’m ready
to join you, then I think I’m going to be very offended.”
“Eve,” Chris whispered her name wondering if indeed he’d finally
lost his mind at long last.
In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life
“You didn’t honestly believe I’d skip
out on martini time, did you?” she questioned watching the surprise light
up his features, “Oh Chris, don’t you know by now that nothing could
possibly keep me from being where I’m supposed to be. Sure, I might be
a little late getting here, but hey, that doesn’t mean we can’t relish
the moment.”
“But how….how can you be here?” Chris blinked back in response
watching her circle around the room.
“You tell me,” Eve shrugged her shoulders tossing her hair back with
a confident smile, “you’re the one that called me here, so you tell
me why I’m here.”
“Eve, I…I…” he shook his head, “no this can’t
be happening. You’re dead. This can’t be happening.”
“Are you sure about that,” she questioned watching him turn away,
“do you really believe that something as real and pure as what you felt
for me couldn’t work miracles? That somehow it couldn’t move mountains,”
Eve stepped forward placing her arm on his shoulder, “because the truth
is that it can Chris. It can set you free if you know how to ask for it.”
“Eve, this just can’t be,” he shook his head facing her again
seeing that she was so very close to him. Taking in a sharp breath, he reached
his fingers out to her feeling the warmth of her palm slip around his hand drawing
it against her cheek as a smile swept over her features, “how?”
“Are you ready to believe?” she questioned moving forward leaning
in towards him her lips a whisper away from his, “well?”
“Eve, I want nothing more than to believe this is real, that you’re
really here,” he confessed closing his eyes as the warmth of her kiss radiated
through him bringing to life a part of him that had been locked deep inside
since she’d left his life.
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
“Believe in me, Chris,” Eve whispered caressing
his face affectionately as their kiss ended and they slowly parted. She gazed
into his very lost brown eyes as her fingers slipped deep within his dark hair
holding him closer to her, “believe in the magic of what we can be together
if you open your heart to the possibilities.”
“I believe,” he confessed kissing her again with the same fervent
desire that had haunted him night after night in his dreams of what might’ve
been between them. Wrapping his arms around her, he felt the warmth of her so
alive, so very alive and it stirred up emotions deep within that had been caged
away since her passing. His palms pressed over her spine crushing her against
him as their kisses deepened filling him with the sweet drugging nectar of her
passion. Somehow he’d had so many questions, so many concerns, but now
as he held her the world outside of this room, outside of this moment was of
no consequence.
Finally unable to keep his thoughts from breaking through, Chris slowly broke
away from the kiss holding her in his arms as the question formed upon his lips,
“How?”
“Love me, Chris,” Eve whispered her words echoing through his ears
as she traced an outline of a heart over the center of his chest, “love
me like you’ve always dreamed of loving me.”
“Eve, I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, to show you just how much
you meant to me,” he explained tears swelling in his eyes as she touched
him, “time after time I wanted you to know. I came so very close, but love
had never been my strong suit. I’d seen it as a weakness in me, but when
I lost you…Eve it was the end of me. I watched you fade from my life and
I had nothing to show for it, but my stupid pride.”
“Chris, I know,” she tried to soothe him as his tears pooled in his
eyes. She leaned forward kissing his forehead affectionately as her palm pressed
over the solid, steady beating of his heart, “I know all the things you
wanted me to know. I realize that you love me and the truth is that I love you.
I came back to love you,” she confessed wrapping her arms around his neck
as he held her, “only you.”
I'm gonna take a little time
A little time to look around me
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me
“Oh Eve,” he breathed her in feeling her
consume every part of him as her eyes fixed on his. Reaching out to her, he
traced her features caressing her soft skin as he created a pathway over her
forehead, curving over her defined cheekbones, following up with a teasing gesture
over the sleek line of her nose until his finger found her full, luscious lips.
Tracing them as a breath expelled from his lips, he found that his eyes weren’t
betraying him. The warmth of her, the life it was all a reality beckoning him
to life again. Slowly his gaze drifted over her body, remembering her perfect
curves as he held her. He’d wanted to hold her like this for so very long,
to share his love with her and now as she was very much alive, he felt his second
chance coming back to him.
“Chris,” Eve murmured his name grasping his hand bringing it to her
lips before pressing a kiss in the center of his palm. Seeing the look of complete
adoration washing over him, she took a step back seeing the way his eyes settled
upon her as she crossed the room. Turning around once more as she stood before
the fireplace, she curled her finger hoping he would follow her lead.
“I just can’t believe this is all happening especially after the year
I’ve had,” Chris started in awe of her as she reached for him collecting
him in her arms as her kiss silenced any of his lingering thoughts. The world
soon became a fading memory, a place that no longer held any meaning as she
was the one thing--the only thing that seemed real in his life.
In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
I can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life
“I need you Chris,” she breathed against his heated skin as her lips
traveled over his neck tasting his unquenched, unyielding love for her with
each rhythmic pulse of her kisses. Easing her fingers beneath his sweater, she
urged it up his torso welcoming the rigid heat of his body against hers. He
kept his eyes on her as she brought his sweater up over his head discarding
it with one smooth, solid motion before her mouth collected longing kisses from
him.
“This feels so much better,” she whispered nibbling on his earlobe
feeling his body responding to her in ways she’d never experienced before
now as he let out a soft pant.
Smiling Eve stepped away from him seeing the confusion behind his eyes as her
fingers slipped beneath the straps of the soft white gown she’d been wearing
letting it ease over her body before allowing it to pool at her feet. Stepping
out of the gown, she kicked it aside before her fingers moved up into her own
dark tresses unfastening the clip that had kept her hair until this moment in
time. Now freeing herself to be with him, she watched as he gasped at the very
sight of her. She offered a welcoming smile before curling her finger in his
direction.
“Eve, I….” he stammered suddenly a ball of nerves as the woman
he’d loved from afar was now alive and offering herself to him in his living
room as the soft flicker of the candle light licked over her curves probing
his unfulfilled desire to full awakening at the site of her. In the candle light
she was breathtaking, far beyond any of his dreams of her as she motioned for
him to join her again.
“Don’t be shy now,” she couldn’t help but giggle as she
reached out to him dragging him towards her as her fingers hooked in beneath
the top of his trousers, “we won’t have any of that,” she promised
him wrapping her arms around him as she claimed his mouth savagely urging him
not to contain his desire for her.
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
Feeling her love all around him, Chris eased her down
to the floor covering her soft form with his own passion-laden body. He looked
into her dark eyes seeing the desire awakening inside of her as he traced her
body, learning each curve, every dip and turn of her with his finger tips as
she purred at his touch. Kissing her hungrily, Chris trailed over her taut abdomen,
tracing a line over her breast bone before capturing her soft flesh in the palm
of his hand. She arched against him offering more of herself to him as he collected
her soft cries of pleasure. Slowly his kisses lingered over her body retracing
the path his fingers had created over her creamy skin. Her fingers curled into
his hair as his tongue traced patterns over her soft flesh, tasting the pure
liquid heat of her as her body arched up against his.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered capturing her breast in the
palm of his hand kneading it gently as her tortured peak sprang up towards him.
With a hint of a smile, his tongue traced the protruding bud watching the flush
spill over her features as he sucked the tortured peak feeling each sensual
response bursting out from deep within her as he enveloped her in his arms drawing
his fingers up over her spine in an attempt to bring her closer to his hungry
mouth wanting nothing more than to give her the pleasure that had evaded them
before now. Her urgent gasps let him know how he’d affected her just as
he’d been spellbound by her years earlier. Turning his attention to her
other breast now throbbing with need as his mouth worked it’s magic over
her, he felt something sweep over the both of them.
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
And I wanna feel, I want to feel what love is
And I know, I know you can show me
“Chris,” she breathed his name as the warmth
of her words swept over him reaching deep into his soul as her nails scratched
lightly over his spine urging him on as he devoted himself to showing her how
he’d longed to love her as she’d needed to be loved, “Chris,
make love to me,” Eve purred as she threaded her fingers through his hair
drawing him up to meet her hungry lips, “make love to me like you’ve
wanted to. Show me all that I’ve denied myself all these years of pushing
you away.”
“Eve, I love you so much. I’ve waited a lifetime to show you how much
you mean to me,” he confessed working to remove the barriers between them
as her caresses grew more urgent, more impatient to have him inside her. Her
fingers swept over the pulse of his arousal feeling him in ways he’d only
imagined as her long, steady strokes beckoned him towards her wanting nothing
more than to lose himself to the love he’d kept inside for so very long.
“I love you,” he confessed freely as her legs wrapped around him welcoming
him inside of her with one solid thrust. Feeling his breath catch in his throat
as she squeezed him deep inside of her, he reached out to her touching her cheek
as this moment would forever remain in his heart.
“I love you,” she pressed a kiss into his palm as she lifted her hips
upward welcoming the movement between them as they began to make love losing
themselves to the slow and steady rhythm of the unquenched passion between them.
Let's talk about love
I wanna know what love is, the love that you feel inside
I want you to show me, and I'm feeling so much love
I wanna feel what love is, no, you just cannot hide
I know you can show me, yeah
“Chris,” she breathed his name feeling the
intensity build between them as he moved within her causing the barriers between
them to evaporate with each tender caress. With each loving embrace and tender
kiss, the past became a fading memory as all that remained was this one moment,
this time spent together no longer as Chris and Eve, but as one heart, one soul,
one union to withstand the forces against them as their passion built and crested
carrying them to a place that had been long forbidden between them. As their
passion exploded and Chris spilled himself deep within her, his eyes were open
to a whole new world as he’d found his heart. He’d found himself lost
in her eyes as the magic of their love making filled the room surrounding them
carrying them to a place neither had dreamt possible.
“Tell me you want to be with me forever,” Eve pleaded as he lay against
her wrapped up in her arms, “tell me this is what you want.”
“I want to spend my life with you,” he confessed pressing a kiss over
her shoulder as her fingers tickled over his spine.
“I’ve waited an eternity to find you Chris, but now I know in my heart
that this is truly where destiny meant for us to be,” she reached out to
him kissing the top of his forehead before urging him to meet her dark eyes,
“I’ll always love you and be with you if that’s what you want
for us.”
“I’m lost without you,” Chris confessed the weight of the moment
holding down on him as his heart reached out to her longing to keep her with
him forever, “I never knew love until you walked into my life and without
you in it, I was dead inside. Your leaving tore me apart and I know now that
I could never go back to that again. I could never be without you.”
“You’ll never have to be without me again,” Eve promised with
a tender kiss, “our love will keep us together from this day on. Eternity
will be ours,” she promised as their love raged on in the moments of tenderness
kept alive by the magic of candle light. They would be together forever and
nothing would ever keep them from where they belonged. Together their love would
never fade as they’d found the secret to eternity in the warmth of their
love.
I wanna know what love is, let's talk about love
I want you to show me, I wanna feel it too
I wanna feel what love is, I want to feel it too
And I know and I know, I know you can show me
Show me love is real, yeah
I wanna know what love is...
“Jack, I don’t know if you can do that,”
Tess frowned as Jack bust open the door to Chris’s apartment, “what
if Chris just isn’t answering his phone because he’s been busy?”
“I checked at the hospital and he hasn’t shown up for work,”
Jack explained simply, “while Chris might want to shut the world out, he
wouldn’t close himself off from work. That’s the one thing that he’s
kept in his life.”
“Still, I don’t feel right about this,” Tess sighed as Jack stepped
into the apartment surprised by what he saw.
“What the….” Jack looked around the empty apartment seeing that
the furniture had been cleared out as he moved around the room, “what’s
going on?” he rushed down the hallway in search of his brother, “Chris,
hey are you here? Chris?” he questioned frantic as he opened each door
finding that the rooms had been emptied much like the living room. All of Chris’s
belongings were gone as if they’d never been there in the first place and
worry spread over Jack’s features as he rushed back out into the living
room, “Tess, everything’s gone. Chris is gone.”
“I kind of thought he might be,” Tess nodded in response.
“Where can he be? What’s going on here?” Jack questioned with
a frown, “and why are you so calm about things? Did you find something?”
“Only this,” Tess replied innocently as she held up the rose colored
candle she’d spotted over by the bar, “does this mean anything?”
“I don’t know,” Jack frowned reaching for the candle as he inspected
it closely.
“Well?” Tess questioned with a curious brow.
“I don’t know,” Jack shrugged, “I honestly don’t…”
“What’s this,” she reached for the candle turning it upside down
as she noticed writing on the bottom of it. “What does it say?”
“Destiny,” Jack read aloud wondering what it’s meaning held as
Tess reached out to him.
“Jack,” she touched the candle, “this is a sign.”
“A sign of what,” Jack questioned in confusion, “what does this
candle have to do with where my brother’s at?”
“It has everything to do with where he’s at,” Tess answered simply,
“not too long ago I reached out to Chris, I saw his heart and the hurt
it held inside. He was missing something, that piece of his heart that loved
her and now,” Tess smiled gently, “they’re together.”
“Who’s together?” Jack asked again, “where’s Chris?”
“He’s found the other half of his heart,” Tess added simply,
“his destiny and she’s with him now. She’ll never leave him again.
They’re together and they’re happy. Chris left this candle here so
that you’d know that. He thought you’d understand and deep down I
think you do,” Tess reached out to touch his heart, “he’s with
her at long last. He’s happy now,” Tess explained with a soft smile
realizing that Chris Ramsey had finally been given the miracle he’d been
so desperately searching his lifetime to find. He was happy now with the woman
he loved and nothing could ever take that away from him again…that much
she was sure of.
The End
*Lyrics to the song as sung by Tina Arena from a CD that Tona sent me in order to inspire some creativity